Showing posts with label Man-made Meals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Man-made Meals. Show all posts

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Cajun-Orange Tilapia and Greens! Decadent! DELICIOUS! Healthy??!



This was posted over at my fiancee's blog. Keep in mind that she wasn't in the kitchen for this recipe, so on her blog, she has some mild inaccuracies. :)

She didn't post the actual recipe though, just what she knew of it.

I will provide prices for each ingredient, but they're guesstimates. Your prices may vary!

Cajun-Orange Tilapia and Greens

Ingredients:

1 bag frozen boneless, skinless tilapia fillets (should be 8 or 9 fillets): approx $5
1 bag frozen mustard greens: $2
2 stalks of celery: 30 cents?
half a handful of pre-shredded carrots: another 30 cents
1 naval orange: $? (I buy them in 10 lb. bags.)
4 tbsp olive oil: $?
Tony Cacherie's cajun seasoning: 1-2 cents

So this is approximately a 10 dollar meal that can make 8 or 9 servings for those that aren't as hungry, or it can make 3-4 servings for those that are very hungry like me. I ended up eating 3 pieces of this fish and the greens that go with each piece. It was just that delicious.

Cooking Implements

1 9x13 dark cake pan lined with aluminum foil and another sheet of aluminum foil
1 serving spoon
1 mandolin slicer
1 bowl
Something to toss greens with (a second spoon will do usually)

Prep:

Thaw the fish if you want a shorter cooking time. Overnight in the fridge the day before works just fine, as does about 40 minutes in a sink of cold water. You can leave them in the bag they came in for this step.

Only prep two items and preheat the oven.

Preheat your oven to 375 if it's gas or 400 if it's electric.

Cut the white end of the celery stalks off.
Take a mandolin slicer (on thin setting), MAKE SURE YOU ARE CAREFUL FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Hold the celery by the leafy bits, one stalk at a time.
Slice the celery with the mandolin slicer, you should not even come near your fingers or hands and it only takes a few seconds to get 40 slices off a piece of celery (thin setting). I cannot stress enough to pay attention. Mandolin slicers are dangerous. VERY dangerous. Do not let your kids do this step. You cannot use the guard with celery, that's why we're grasping by the leafy bit of the celery. you want to stop slicing before you get to the leaves (you don't want them in the meal, they're too bitter). If you cut yourself on the slicer, I'm not responsible. I'm just telling you it makes nice, even, and thin slices of celery.
Do this to both celery stalks.

Slice one end off of your orange and do this over a bowl:
Use the mandolin slicer and it's guard (so you don't cut yourself) and slice off 1 slice of orange for each fillet you have. Some juice will collect in the bowl with the slices. Put what's left of the orange in the bowl too with the slices, you'll be using it in a bit.

Process (cooks everything at once):

Line the cake pan with some foil so that it raises up the sides. This will keep your pan clean as long as you don't break the foil. Make sure you put the dull sides of the foil on the outsides. so you want the shiny side facing up out of the pan and facing down from the foil "lid". This will help everything cook faster.

Brush or roll olive oil on the bottom only of the foil, use about 1 tbsp

Line the bottom of the pan with a solid layer of mustard greens, I just put them in frozen to help steam cook the rest of the food.
Sprinkle about a handful of your pre-shredded carrot on the mustard greens.
Dump the celery on top of the greens too.

Drizzle the remaining 3 tbsp of olive oil on top of the greens.

Set aside the orange slices and squeeze the juice from the end of the orange into the bowl. Take out any seeds, you don't want them in the meal. pour the orange juice over the veggies in the pan.

Sprinkle some of the cajun seasoning over the greens. Use a decent amount but don't over-do it. You don't want it super spicy, you just want the seasonings to blend with the orange.
Toss the veggies with the oil and orange and spices. Just get a light coat on everything and get all the veggies mixed together. Be careful not to tear the foil.

Place the tilapia fillets on top of the greens mixture. do not let them overlap if you can avoid it, but if you do have to overlap, overlap the thinner side of the fillets. They'll cook up fine, we just want room for the orange slices.

Dust the tilapia fillets with some cajun seasoning.
Place an orange slice on top of each fillet, even if you have to overlap them.

Now just take your other piece of foil and lay it over the cake pan. Make sure you SEAL IT TIGHT. we don't want any steam escaping.

Now just place it in the oven for about 30-40 minutes. I would say if it's electric try 30-35 and if it's gas go for 40. This is for thawed fish. If you put the fish in frozen then up the time by 10 minutes for electric and 15 for gas. (time difference is due to the temperature difference)

Be careful when you open it after you get it out of the oven. There's a hellacious amount of steam in the pan.

Because the fish is steamed mostly and not really baked, it shouldn't get all fishy tasting. Steaming fish in the oven tends to leave the meat perfectly cooked, even if you leave it in for a long time. That's provided you don't let the fish touch either the foil or the pan, that's why it's layered between greens and an orange slice.

Throw away all the orange slices, they're ruined now anyway. 1 portion for a not-so-hungry person would be 1 piece of fish and the veggies it's directly sitting on. This would be good if you have anything else that you're feeding a party or something. Otherwise, if you're hungry or just love the taste of this meal, take 2 or 3 pieces of fish. Go ahead, I won't tell. :)

Drizzle some of the juice left in the pan over the fish and greens. This will make everything taste even better. :) It's really a low-fat, high vitamin and mineral content is in the "sauce", so it's VERY healthy and puts back some of the vitamins and minerals that cooking drew out of the veggies. That and the orange/cajun spicyness of the "sauce" is simply to die for. Oh man, I'm droolin'. I say sauce in quotes because it's way too thin to be a real sauce.

Throw away the foil and your pan should still be clean if you didn't rip the foil at all. :)



Cook's Notes:

It took me a total of 10 minutes to prep everything and get it all together in the pan. So your total cook time is around an hour.

Since there's very little fat in this meal, it doesn't hurt to eat more. Plus it's full of delicious veggies (thanks to the orange juice) and the mustard greens have tons of vitamins and fiber in them. Also the "sauce" will have good amounts of the omega type amino acids from the fish and lots of vitamin C since it's based around orange juice.

This dish was old-school french-cajun inspired. I thought up this recipe myself. I will make this again soon and take pictures of the process. Then I will add them to this post and make a new post saying it's been changed. :)

This dish is amazing over a thin layer of white rice, especially if you drizzle the "sauce" over everything and it seeps into the rice.

Edit:
Oh yeah, rinse your celery before you slice it. The carrots in a bag are pre-rinsed luckily.

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Vegetari-MAN Cookbook: Recipe 1

The Vegetari-MAN Cookbook.

Background: I am bloodtype A-, and A blood types are notorious for needing to be mostly vegetarian. I still ADORE and EAT and ENJOY slaughtered animal flesh, but in an effort to prevent the need for antacids and gastric trouble I am converting myself to vegetarianism at dinner and breakfast. It seems that I can have an ENORMOUS STEAK IN ONE BITE during lunch and be fine, but if I eat meat at dinner or breakfast, I typically end up paying for it (and so does everyone else in a 3 mile radius). However, I am going to up the MANLINESS of vegetarian dishes. My beard demands it, and it is the source of my power, so I am compelled to listen.


The Vegetari-MAN Cookbook: Recipe 1. Cucumber Volcano Sandwiches

What's more MANLY than jumping into an active volcano? NOTHING! However, REAL MEN KNOW NOT TO DIE, so I am going to teach you the next best thing. The only thing these sandwiches are going to kill are your TASTE BUDS through sheer AWESOMENESS.

"Oh look, it's tea time with the Queen!" That is NOT what these cucumber sandwiches are. These are cucumber sandwiches that are AWESOME and MANLY.

Key #1 to keep it MANLY: Do NOT cut off the crusts. Crust-less bread is for kids and women. NO MAN EATS BREAD WITHOUT CRUST.

Key #2 to keep it MANLY: Do NOT use more spice than you can handle. It is NOT manly to offer too many sacrifices to the porcelain gods. Only those without self-control would put themselves in that position.

Key #3 to keep it MANLY: Too many steps make it less MANLY. We are MEN and COOKS, not some little frou-frou chef that has to make a 35 ingredient sauce to put on eggs. LESS STEPS = MORE MANLY. Math never lies.

Recipe:

BREAD

GIANT CUCUMBERS (at least 1.5 inches in girth and/or more than 6 inches long for ease of preperation)

WHIPPED CREAM CHEESE

1 PACKET OF ITALIAN DRESSING MIX OR 1 PACKET OF RANCH DIP MIX

CAYENNE PEPPER

THE BIGGEST KNIFE YOU HAVE AND A CLEAVER WOULD BE BETTER

CUTTING BOARD OR COUNTER TOP

Steps:

1) Peel the GIANT CUCUMBER or don't, it's your choice. I hate the taste of wax, as should all MEN. WAX keeps you from OBLITERATING AND ABSORBING ENERGY FROM YOUR FOOD, so I don't really want that swishing around in my plumbing.

2) Cut the GIANT CUCUMBER in half lengthwise then make slices out of it. I choose to make my slices of GIANT CUCUMBER about half an inch thick. Make them as thick as you want or think they need to be, but if the sandwich doesn't fit in your mouth, it's not a compressible sandwich, so you're fucked. MEN ARE SMART, so keep it edible.

3) Let the GIANT CUCUMBER slices dry on a paper towel and then mix the ITALIAN DRESSING MIX into the WHIPPED CREAM CHEESE.

4) SLATHER both slices of the bread with the ITALIAN WHIPPED CREAM CHEESE for each sandwich.

5) Put as much CAYENNE PEPPER on both sides as you can handle. Remember not to destroy your plumbing.

6) SLAM the GIANT CUCUMBER slices onto the bread and SMASH the sandwich together. Fill the sandwich with the slices. SLAMMING the sandwich makes the cream cheese hold fast to the GIANT CUCUMBER slices.

7) CONSUME YOUR SANDWICH. MASTICATE IT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT THEN DIGEST.

These are the MANLIEST cucumber sandwiches in EXISTENCE. TRY THEM! Put HAM on the sandwiches if you are more of a meat eater. I'm going to do that for lunch one day.

Vegetari-MAN out! /FLEX

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